My health is getting worse, but strangely, I don’t want to treat myself. It’s as if I am comfortably waiting for something to happen. Am I suicidal?
However, I searched for some jobs to apply for because I feel I do not have any future or professional development here. I just feel useless sitting from morning till night without doing anything, even though I get paid. I applied for ICSAN, but they said they would get back to me before I could proceed to the next stage(they haven’t). Also, the jobs I saw, I like them, but after a brief research, I realized that their pay might not be equivalent to what I earn here a month, I wouldn’t want to move from frying pan to fire. ChatGPT said I should send an email asking some questions such as the pay, benefits, and if there is any guarantee of career advancement. However, sending that kind of message will be as if I am getting ahead of myself. Where I am now, I do my private work, they pay half of my rent, and I don’t spend money on food. My only problem is that if I don’t have any private work to do, I literally don’t do anything at all that day.
I hope ICSAN responds to me. Let me know if I should use my boredom to pursue professional certifications. I also researched for a master’s (online ). The University of London offers an LLM (online). Besides, I prefer online LLM to traveling to their country, not a fan. University of London LLM is 22m. I guess I will start with what I can afford- the professional certifications.
I am sick!
